Life is like a box of chocolates: sometimes you get those stupid nougat things.

It is high time I talk about my actual job while I am here; teaching English. I am starting my second week at work and I think everyone back home wants to hear how things are going.

First of all, I had no idea what this job entailed until I arrived. I had no curriculum, no notes, I hadn't even researched ESL teaching techniques. I didn't know if these kids were already mostly fluent, or if they couldn't compose sentences. I had been told that I would be teaching middle school, probably 10-12 years old, but I was not sure if that was a guarantee or an estimate. I certainly didn't know my hours or how big the classes are. I was flying blind until I arrived.

Last week, the day after I landed, I finally got details:

•  I will be teaching grades 4-6.
• The kids would have a full spectrum of fluency; some can hardly read, some can speak like natives. 
• I will be teaching 21 classes a week, 35 minutes apiece. Each class contains 60 kids.
• Most classes would have a teacher present, to translate on occasion, or reprimand troublesome children. But, I heard, they are often not present.

Well, this is all good stuff; I was just glad to hear what I will be working with.Then came the kicker:

• The school did not have materials for me.

Now, I know my situation is a bit odd, but shouldn't they have mentioned that? Don't they have a book they teach from? Well, I do have lots of writing and speaking experience, it shouldn't be a problem. Also, the other teachers said there are given prompts and themes to base their lessons, so maybe I can use that too.

At this point, I was a bit confused, but still pretty chill with things. 60 kids is a lot, but the Chinese are more well-disciplined than Americans, right? 21 classes is also a lot, but since they are only 35 minutes long, I figured I wouldn't have trouble keeping up the energy to teach. And even if my assistant teacher didn't show up, I knew enough Chinese to make do if the class needed clarification.

As for curriculum, the head of the Primary School suggested I start by teaching out of a movie. Forrest Gump was a good choice since it had lots of clearly spoken English with varying levels of complexity, and even the most advanced students could learn about American culture. This lesson was going to be great.

Though there were a few hiccups, it looked like this job would go great. Now I just had to spend the week observing the other teachers so I could get an idea of what a class was like! The first person I observed was Maggie, who taught grade one.

That was when I found out I was going to be a terrible teacher.

She exhibited so much energy, acting out nearly every word she said, that I felt exhausted just watching the lesson. How can I charade everything I say during even a simple English lesson for 13 hours a week?! And I would feel downright clownish doing this in front of the older kids.

Next I sat through Ross' lesson, and I realized that perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. He taught grade three's, and not only did they not need a full Broadway performance to stay engaged, Ross didn't have a game every five minutes. Perhaps I would be fine.

The final teacher I observed was Kirstie, who teaches grades 7 and 8, and by that time I realized that as long as I didn't drone or lecture without a visual aid, I would be fine. Kirstie's a great teacher, but she is as intense as a cell phone ring.



Now, after all this, it was time for my first class. Monday morning, 9:20, showed up a few minutes early to set up my laptop. I had my Gump lesson, a sharp outfit, a full water bottle. I was doing great. The lesson?

It went terribly.

I discovered that Forrest Gump is at least three grades too advanced. Also, my presentation's organization was terrible. And I speak too fast. And whenever there was a lull in my lecture, or if I tried speaking a few words of Chinese, or if I said something a bit interesting, the class would start generating as much background chatter as the Dulles Airport control tower.

So, I started editing my slides between classes, I tried speaking as slow as possible, and I learned that the classes are trained to quite down when the teacher claps. So, my lessons quickly improved.

The night after that first day, I also completely re-wrote my material. Forrest Gump 'ran like the wind blows' out of my lesson and America colonized in his place. Now, I spent my lesson telling my students about my home country and talking about myself in more basic language. I threw in a couple more sections where the students could talk, and looked it over to make sure I used an elementary vocabulary for all written text.

And everything, finally, went well.



I know this is a lot to read, but for any readers getting bored of my text adventures, I suggest you stay tuned. I'll be uploading some pictures and videos soon to show you guys how big a 60 kid class is, how loud a 60 kid class is, and what it looks like when 1200+ kids do their morning exercise. Oh, and I may include some video of one of my lessons, one that goes well.